I call the handicapped stall at the end of the long bathroom at work the pooping station.
My friend asked me what attracts me to a guy. I said really, really nice.
She didn’t believe me.
Then she said she pictured me liking someone douchey. When I guffawed, she said, well not douchey, sarcastic. I said, okay, sarcastic, yeah I like that.
Then she said, with a mean streak.
I can’t date you if your name makes me hungry.
Occasionally/often I fart a little when I pee, and I do not, when in public, cough to cover it up. It’s the bathroom, that’s what it’s for.
Please oh please don’t wear stinky perfume to the gym, especially when it’s a spin class in an enclosed space.
When I try to eat right the whole world starts to smell like Auntie Anne’s.
My blog is about nothing now. Fuck Woodworking. I’ll take that post down when I feel like it.
Did people say Blergghh before 30 Rock? I’m not sure anymore. I’m almost through the first two seasons of 30 Rock, which is pretty much the only thing I accomplished in the last week.